


Faintest of Silver Linings

by Abbyromana



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005), Doctor Who (Comics)
Genre: Child Death, Episode: s04e06 The Doctor's Daughter, Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Character Death, Resolution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-03-31 14:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13977375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abbyromana/pseuds/Abbyromana
Summary: Donna and the Doctor bond in hopes of healing after a very bad day.





	Faintest of Silver Linings

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers DW comic book: Cold-Blooded War and series 4 (New Doctor Who), particularly Partners in Crime, Fires of Pompeii, and The Doctor's Daughter .

Donna fell back in her turned-down bed. A defeated sigh fell from her moist lips. Absentmindedly, she ran a hand through her long, wet locks, brushing the bangs out of her eyes. The hand glided through the waves of warm autumn colours, twisting one resistant curl around the hand’s pointer finger a few times.

Her mind was elsewhere. Despite her exhaustion, she couldn’t fall asleep or forget the frightening events of the past few hours. They vividly played out in mind.

“Today has to be one for the list of very bad days,” Donna muttered to herself. “No fun and no relaxing at the Coronsis Minor Opera Theatre, just loads more running and saving yet another world from impending peril.” She scoffed.

That alone frustrated Donna, but it wasn’t the reason her mind kept her from sleeping. The civil unrest on Draconia was a bother, but no worse than other places the Doctor had taken her. There was a ruler in trouble, factions working for and against the ruler, and Donna and the Doctor entangled in it the second they stepped off the TARDIS.

“Millions of lives and centuries of peace hung in the balance as usual,” she said, furrowing her brow.

She remembered standing amongst the chauvinistic, alien aristocrats, who cared more about placing the blame. They didn't care about resolving the issue or finding the Doctor after terrorists kidnapped him. Besides being utterly irritated, she was worried about the Doctor. He was hopeless without her. Thus, not for the first time, her talent for yelling and being blunt helped in quieting the aristocrats and getting some focus on saving the Doctor.

“By some strange mix of luck and brilliance, perhaps a bit more of the former than the latter, the Doctor and I managed to set wrongs to right,” she said with a deep sigh, “but at a price.”

That price and the consequences to the Doctor kept Donna awake. While the sight of an innocent Draconian girl shot by her father shook Donna to her core, she knew it tormented the Doctor. Even though both of them knew the child’s death brought the needed result of peace, it just didn’t feel right.

“He felt close to the child, cared for her in the many ways her father never did. A life barely lived. All of it too familiar to his own recent loss on Messaline,” she said. Shutting her eyes, Donna felt the tears prickling at their corners. “To make it worse, he sees it solely as his fault, his responsibility to have prevented it, no matter what I say or do to convince him of otherwise. I tried to talk to him the moment we got back to the safety of the TARDIS. I even sat silently by his side for some time, hoping he’d open up. Yet, he just muttered to himself, before disappearing to who knows where deep inside the TARDIS.”

Donna had been very tempted to go after him, but decided to let him be for a bit. She hoped he just needed time. Thus, she went to shower and change out of her flowing, purple evening dress. She’d considered going to sleep, but his gloomy expression and self-deprecating comments haunted her thoughts. She once again debated going to look for him.

Before she could make a decision, there came a knock at her bedroom door. Instantly, she pushed herself up on to her elbows and shot a glance towards the door.

“Donna,” came the Doctor’s muffled voice. “Donna, are you awake?”

Quickly, she wiped the tears from her eyes, even as a grin partially curved her lips. She didn’t know if she was happier to hear him speak to her or the fact he was asking such a ridiculous and pointless question. Either way, she kept the sarcastic reply to herself, and said, “Yes, I’m awake.”

There was the sound of shuffling filling an uneasy pause.

“Would you like to come in, Spaceman?” she asked, trying to hide the happy tone to her voice.

There was a shorter pause, and then, the Doctor asked, “Are you decent? Well, I mean do you... well, are you...”

Donna pushed herself up, softly chuckling to herself. “Yes, Spaceman, I’m all dressed.”

“Well, I…” he started to say, before the squeak of the doorknob turning sounded. Slowly, it opened, letting the light of the brightly lit hallway flood inward. The Doctor’s tall, lengthy silhouette filled the doorway. “I suppose, if you insist then. I didn’t want to bother you, since you’re probably… busy or whatever.” Despite his reluctant tone, Donna could tell from his posture and his quickness to open the door that he felt the opposite.

Donna turned her whole body in his direction, giving him a once over look. He was still dressed in that disheveled and filthy black tuxedo. His bow tie hung from around his neck. The top few buttons of his white dress shirt were undone, revealing a slight tuff of hair from his chest. Every inch of his black jacket and pants looked dirty and sweaty. He looked a complete wreck.

“Oh, you’re dressed for bed,” he said, giving her blue flannel pajamas a quick look before glancing back out the doorway. “I didn’t mean to keep you...”

Donna sighed, rolling her eyes. “Oi! Save it, Spaceman. I might look ready for bed, but really, I’m not.”

The Doctor turned sharply in her direction. “Oh?” he said questioningly. “Why’s that?”

She gestured for him to come forward, lightly patting the bed. “I can’t,” she answered simply, letting her shoulders sag.

“Can’t or won’t?” he asked, stepping tentatively towards her.

“A bit of both, really, but more of the ‘can’t’ variety,” she said. “Not after what happened. I suppose it’s still a lot to take in, and well, it all just happened so fast. My senses are still trying to register it all without overloading.”

Once he was completely out of the doorway, she could start to make out his face. He looked pale. Dark rings lined under his eyes and around his mouth. He looked as if he had never smiled before in his life and never would. It all said so much to her. She could even already see the apology before he spoke. “I’m sorry, Donna,” he said solemnly. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have...”

Donna snapped out a hand. “Oi, hold it right there, Spaceman! Why are you apologizing?” She didn’t wait for him to reply. “It wasn’t your fault that you got kidnapped or I got forced into being a punching bag mediator between two thick-headed, aristocratic factions.”

The Doctor didn’t look convinced. “Not completely,” he admitted, “but I...”

“And it certainly wasn’t your fault that Draconian girl got killed,” Donna pointed out, glaring at him. “You didn’t pull the trigger; her father did that without any help from you.”

The Doctor turned his face away, tightening his jaw. He looked as if he was going to either growl in rage or cry in much seeded sorrow. Donna didn’t want to see him do either. She didn’t know if she could control her emotions if he did, and crying or slapping him would only make things worse. Instead, she rose to her feet and crossed over to him.

“Hey,” she said softly, grasping his arm and giving it a gentle squeeze. “Don’t kid yourself, Doctor. There were more factors in play than you and me. There’s no way you could have known or controlled them all, no matter how brilliant you think you are. You got that?” She reached her other hand towards his face, trying to guide it back in her direction. “Hey, you hear me?”

Tentatively, his head turned partially towards her still not showing any sign of softening. The cold hardness in his eyes told her everything, so she sighed and continued, “Yes, you let her out of the cell, and yes, you guided her back to the royal chambers in hopes of protecting her, but you couldn’t have known what her father was going to do. You couldn’t have known she’d step between the gun and the Empress.”

“Again,” he said coldly.

Donna’s lips parted in question but quickly snapped shut as she once again reminded herself of Jenny. His own daughter had done exactly the same thing, except it was between him and a gun. That’s when she wondered if he was transposing one event over the other, mixing the emotions together. Did he see himself as pulling that same trigger on Jenny as the Draconian girl’s father had done to her?

“Oh, Doctor,” Donna sighed, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him into a tight hug.

The Doctor did not return it, but neither did he move out of her embrace. He just stood there in her arms as if a stone statue. Despite the hard exterior, she could feel the pounding of his hearts beneath. Occasionally, his shuddering breaths broke up the double beat as if it was a missing note in a melody of a song. The Doctor was no song, but there was no question events had changed him.

Donna ran one hand along the back of his neck, hoping to calm him. “Doctor, I know you don’t want to hear this, but you need to,” she said soothingly into his right ear. “Life sucks. Life, no matter who we think we are, is beyond our control. We can only do so much, and yeah, it’s frustrating and confusing, and probably often feels like it isn’t worth living. Believe me, I know.”

“You know?” the Doctor’s muffled voice asked.

Pulling back from him, she grinned at him. “Yeah.”

The Doctor’s brow furrowed for a moment, before his eyebrows rose up his forehead. “Oh, you mean Lance and the...”

Donna sighed. “No, not Lance. Well, not just him,” she explained. He was still frowning, but now there was an inquisitive look in his eyes. “Come on, I’ll show you.” She led him over to her bedside table and took a seat on the bed, patting it to signal the Doctor to sit. He hesitated, raising an eyebrow.

“Blimey! I’m not trying to get you into it, Spaceman,” Donna told him with a playful chuckle. “I told you before; I ain’t mating with you, Sunshine.” She winked playfully at him, which produced the tiniest of smiles for a brief second.

He took a seat beside her. This time the inquisitive side was shining much brighter. “What is it?” he said, sounding slightly like an overly curious four-year old. She held her tongue from saying so. Instead, she shifted her attention to the cluttered bedside table.

Amongst the contents were a couple framed photos. One in particular caught Donna’s attention, and she picked it up. She smiled at it warmly, thinking for a moment of the people in it. Then, she looked towards the Doctor and noticed he was staring over her shoulder at it.

“Here,” she said, carefully handing it over to him.

He gave her a questioningly look, before accepting the framed photo. A thoughtful look filled his eyes and his mouth twisted a bit. A second later, he whipped out his thick-rimmed specs, putting them on. In a very Doctor-ish way, he turned the photo this way and that, staring incredibly intent at it.

“It’s a photo of the entire Noble clan,” she explained, leaning back and just watching the Doctor.

“Hmm?” he said questioningly. Once again, his gaze flickered in her direction for only the briefest of moments, before returning back to the photo. “Say, isn’t that your father in the photo with you and your mum?”

There were many people in photo, but near the front row were her, her dad, and her mum. He pointed at them. Donna stared longingly at the older-looking man who had only a bit of wispy white hair on top standing between both Donna and her mum.

A small knot formed in Donna’s throat as she recalled the long talk her mum had given both Donna’s dad and herself before the photo was taken. Full of nagging about making sure their clothes were straight as well as their hair. She and her father retaliated when her mum's back was turned. Donna recalled reaching up and purposively messing her father’s hair. In return, he smeared a bit of red cocktail sauce across both of her cheeks. That’s why her cheeks were exceedingly red in the photo and his hair a complete mess. They’d laughed, while Donna’s mum fumed. It had been the best father-daughter joke Donna and her father had ever shared. It made her remember just how much she missed him.

“And...Well, I mean it’s been awhile, since that last Christmas with your wedding and all, and I thought …,” he said, pulling Donna back to the present.

“Yes,” Donna said, interrupting him. She could already feel the knot in her throat rising and her voice catching. Still, she forced herself not to get emotional. “That was one of the last photos with him.”

The Doctor turned to look at her, still gripping the framed photo in his left hand. “I’m sorry, Donna. I didn’t…”

“Why should you be sorry?” she asked him critically. “You didn’t cause him to have cancer. It wasn’t your fault he died.” She sighed, letting her gaze once more return to the photo. “That’s just part of life. Life and death, and all of that.”

Her gaze shifted to him. His mouth opened as if he was about to apologize again. Once his gaze met hers gaze, it promptly snapped shut. The next second, he was looking down at the framed photo in his hands.

Donna sighed, feeling the moisture in her eyes, following his line of sight. “I mean sometimes, I do... I think what if I’d nagged him to go get checked out sooner or if only I made enough money to get him taken to one of those posh private hospitals... maybe, just maybe...” she explained, wiping tears from her eyes.

“Donna,” the Doctor told her, touching her arm gently. “You couldn’t have...” He stopped short, sighing with a part smile on his lips.

“Have known,” Donna finished for him, sniffling. She gave him a knowing look. “I know.”

“I know too,” the Doctor admitted, handing the framed photo back to her. “It just...”

“Doesn’t make you feel any better,” Donna again finished for him. “I know that too. I doubt there’s a being that has lost someone who doesn’t know that.” She paused, watching the emotions playing over his face. She knew them well every time she looked at the framed photo now in her hands. Sighing deeply, she gave it another longing look. “Still, that doesn’t make it better, I know that, but it does mean we can’t forever dwell on the past.” She careful placed the framed photo once more on her bedside table.

“I know that too,” the Doctor said after a long defeated sigh.

“Jenny did what she thought was right, just like the Draconian girl,” Donna told him, gazing at him with an earnest expression. “You couldn’t control them. Well, I mean  _you_  probably could have found a way, but only if you wanted them to be some sort of mindless, soulless machines.”

“I’d never wish either of them to be Cybermen,” he commented.

“Cyber-who?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

His lips parted to explain, but then, he just shook his head. “Never mind.” He sighed. “I know you’re right.”

Donna scoffed, “Of course, I’m right!” She smiled at him.

The Doctor managed a small smile in return. In a low voice, he said, “You are brilliant, Donna Noble.”

She only chuckled. “Right,” she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

Then, he pulled her into a tight hug. There was a great amount of strength about his hold. He held her so closely that she had to bury her face against his neck to get any sort of breathing space. Still, Donna didn’t complain and just hugged him back. She hoped her presence would be enough for him to start healing.

The Doctor murmured against the wet locks of her hair, drawing in a few shuddering breaths afterwards. She wasn’t sure what he said, but she guessed.

“Yeah,” she said, squeezing him tightly. “I wish we'd gone to the theatre instead too.”


End file.
